I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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