weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize