yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
