I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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