I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
