Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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