sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
