that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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