2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
