i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
this will be a night to untag.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
