we have pet lesbian snakes
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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