Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
