who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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