we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
