Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
