they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
