He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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