I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
