All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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