3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
just found out that she named her cat after me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
