Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
