Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
