My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
