booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
