Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
