just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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