so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
