They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
