it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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