i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
