You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
