don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
