she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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