Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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