I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
