i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize