Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
