I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
