I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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