I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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