walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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