You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
