So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The uberlube is also flammable
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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