you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
