I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
