we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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