Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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