My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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