we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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