Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
