I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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