Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
