Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
