What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
