Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
