you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
