The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
