the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So much rum. So many feels.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
