Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
