One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize