Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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