didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
