i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
