I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just google imaged poop.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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