VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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