where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize